I am SO happy he is not around for this!

Post op number two went perfectly!  I am healing perfectly and feeling pretty awesome.

Two weeks of procedures and surgeries have come and gone and now I just have to finish healing.  I can't smoke still and cannot do anything that increases my heart rate including sex.  Bummer.    BUT at least the Prince is not around!  He would be making my life miserable!  No sex?  He would not have that!

Post surgery was actually quite more difficult than I had imagined it to be with the drainage tube and the over pain and uncomfortableness of not showering for over and week with yucky bandages and I repeat that dam tube!  The day before I got that yanked out of my chest I really started feeling violated by it and my week old bandages.  VIOLATED!!  haha.

But as hard as it was I smiled every time I thought about how much worse it could be.  I could still be in that manipulative world of hell getting ripped new assholes, told how horrible I am and getting threats to leave the entire time.  But I did not have to suffer through that while I suffered through my physical pain and it really did put a huge smile on my face.  I finally had a sense of relief.  The sense of relief that I have been waiting to feel.

I wrote but never posted this a couple days after my surgery, 10/3/2010

"While I am going through this heinous healing process.  I don't even want to  contemplate that kind of emotional hell he would be making for me in my weakened state.


These are the times when he would go on attack!  When I am weak and dependent.


Thank god I don't have to deal with it!"

So now I take walks and listen to my music and have found myself smiling and literally taking time to smell the roses.  No shit.

We are now getting ready for the big annual Halloween Party that for the past two years he has broken up with me the day before I have to run a 100 plus person party.  We are all joking about who will take his place this year and break up with me the night before and then send me several home made videos telling me how terrible I am for me to watch DURING the party..... you know.. when I'm slammed.

Maybe we'll start a lottery!  Who's it gonna be?