Old notes... Old thoughts... same old shi.....

So I am a note taker.  When I feel confused about something I write down how I am feeling so I can look back at it later and try to sort through it.  Sometimes if I'm in the car or not in my office I will find anything to write these notes on.  In the car I may find a scratch piece of paper and scribble down the notes at a stop light.

As I was organizing my office I found a newspaper with my scribble on it.

Obviously I was trying to work something out in my head and this newspaper was the only thing to write on while I drove and didn't want to lose my thoughts.

Now what does this scribble actually say?  Let's take a look.

"Think 3rd time shut out as of today in 8 days"
"Uncomfortable around him"
"Gonna behave irradic"
"tends to flip quickly between these emotions and I can put a smile on"
"typically happens before events we are involved in together"
"Patterns?  who knows"
"would like to meet ?(can't read name)  up to him and his maturity level"
"Prefer to let nature takes it's course"

So I'm reading this and I know I scribble my feelings down all over the place as they come so I can organize my thoughts at a later time and I saw the same old issues that we always dealt with.  Shutting me out, Irradic emotions, me smiling through, wanted to meet someone that he wouldn't let me and me trying to see where all of this was taking me.

I looked at the date and it said September 14th.  I was like..... woah that newspaper looks old for just last month and why would I be writing these comments if we broke up in August.  A closer look..  This newspaper is from September 14th, 2009.  I was dealing with the same old shit last year.  A big long year of this shit.  Same shit through all the years we dated.

Just an interesting find while cleaning up my workspace.