Me Improvement Month!

Things I have wanted to do with my body but did not have permission from the Prince:

***Get my capsular contracture fixed and a lift kit  (he did NOT want me to have the T-bar scars AT ALL and didn't want me to spend the money... my money not his.   I even made him come to a consultation  with me months ago so he could see what the doctor said.  Although I did not need the T-bars he was still not for the surgery because of money... again.. MY money not his)
***Get Deep FX under my eyes
***Start working on my short sleeve tat representing everyone/thing I've loved that has passed

So I have been under such tight rules with the Prince and so scared to do anything that would piss him off that I actually gave up things that I not only wanted to do but things I needed to do.

He doesn't like tattoos.  I do.  My best friend and I wanted to get a friendship tattoo and I know this would piss the Prince off to such an extent that we would probably break up.  So I went to him to talk to him about it.  He was not happy but after a few minutes was like , "You can get it if you do something for me"

He had wanted me to get health insurance for awhile so he demanded that I get health insurance BEFORE I get the tattoo.. Those were the terms he needed met.  My friend and I were going to get the tattoo in a few hours so I scrambled and got health insurance just so I could get an $80 tiny tattoo that meant something to me and my best friend.   He would always look at my wrist and smile chuckling to himself that the tattoo I got that day represented health insurance and became very angry with me when they did not accept me a after my health evaluation had been processed because I have capsular contracture.  He would yell at me for not following through on anything, doing what I was told to do or doing what I said I was going to.

Capsular Contracture keeping me from having health insurance that I wanted to get fixed but he insisted that I not spend the money.  He would always tell me in a funny way that he liked that I had one soft and one hard boob.  He got the best of both worlds.  I natural breast and a fake one.

I don't care if his intentions were good wanting me to have health care HE FORCED ME TO DO IT UNDER CONTROL ULTIMATUM CIRCUMSTANCES!  This happened in many facets of my life.  If I wanted to do something I had to pay out or there would be a fight.

This is also a good example of the emotional traps I was constantly in.  I needed to get health insurance but was denied for having Capsular Contracture but he was against me spending to money to fix the Cap Contracture so I couldn't be approved for health insurance and I was a liar, selfish and bad person for not following through.

Oh AND I'm getting my full STD screen.  I don't think the Prince physically cheated on me but WHO KNOWS?  If he thought about cheating on me when he was mad at me then he thought about cheating on my multiple times a day.  

So this month I have appointments appointments appointments!!

I am getting my Capsular Contracture fixed with the lift I wanted,  I just got my veneers re-shaped and polished,  I am FINALLY getting Deep and Active FX, I am losing weight and I am going to see an artist about designing my beautiful short sleeve.

I'm going to look like SHIT the last week of September!!  I'll have to post pictures.  I getting my procedure and surgery 2 days apart from one another.  OUCH!  but YAY!  I don't have to ask permission or jump through hoops to better myself and gain better self esteem!