We had a series of serious fights where he would yell terrible things to me in his sleep. At the time I did not realize that he was sleeping and would get extremely upset and hurt. I was always like "what the fuck?! Why the fuck would he say to that me?! OMG (PANIC)" They were terrible things coming from OUT OF THE BLUE like "mumble.... cunt, fucking shut the fuck up!" "Get the fuck out of here. Just fuck off" and one he ever yelled at me for just coming to cuddle with him in bed "GO AWAY!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!"
We remember these events very differently and have had many blow-outs over them and I still think it's crazy that he argues what happened when he was sleeping for most of it. I should have video taped this phenomenon. Hind sight is 50/50.
As soon as we figured out that he was doing this in his sleep we made a rule that I don't wake him up EVER and if he says mean shit to mean and his eyes are closed to ignore it. We had so many rules like this that I needed to obey to keep the calm. What serious anger issues could cause someone to freak out on another person and be so cruel in their sleep?
I'm not sure what it is about him sleeping but something comes out of him from a dark angry place. He once punched me in the face (very hard) while sleeping and just last month we were sleeping on his futon mattress in his living room and I woke up to him BEATING the floor with his fist. I mean BEATING it over and over and over again. Me and my friend joked about how I was lucky that he had chosen the other side of the mattress and not the one that I was sleeping on. But it's really not that funny.
Well I'm not his punching bag anymore. And I'm still waiting for him to be a man. All I want is a little acknowledgement of his responsibility and a sincere apology. Whatever is it that he is so so so internally angry about is not about me.
Maybe he didn't hear me... "I"M STILL WAITING FOR YOU TO BE A MAN"
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