Revelations...

I've always joked with my friends during weird moments with the Prince that I wouldn't be surprised if I woke up one day married to him to find out that he had families all over the country.

Yeah.  One of those guys.

I remember this one phone call he made a few months ago.  He told me he needed to call Uncle B so he got on his phone and sat in my kitchen and had a lengthy conversation.  I was getting dressed and running around the house from bedroom to bathroom.  He referred to the person on the phone as Uncle B at first but then during the length of the conversation continually accidentally called Uncle B "Hil" as in "Hilary".   It would go something like this,

"So she is moving out Hil?.. uh um  Uncle B...   and where is "J" uh I mean Katie going?"

These broken sentences happened throughout the length of the phone call.  At the time I just laughed at his transparency and stupidity to think that I wouldn't realize what was going on.... but,  I just let it go.  He constantly lies and I was at the point of trying to get out peacefully so I just let that one go.

This was a common occurrence.

So I was thinking about these texts I witnessed and what not and I would not be surprised if "Tiffany(work)"  is even Tiffany at all.  I know the real Tiffany is an old friend that dates back to when he was devastated when his first love Michelle was caught cheating on him.  I would never argue that they were physically inappropriate and have even said over these past few weeks that I don't think they were... but that doesn't explain the texts. They were so inappropriate!

So this brings us to his trust issues.  He has always blamed everything on MY trust issues.  Ask any of my friends.. in a relationship I am very trusting until there is obvious reason for me not to be and this accusation always baffled me and many of my friends.   Baffled some of my friends to the point that they would tell me "dude... he doesn't know you at all"!  But he gave me many reasons not to trust him.

But it wasn't about my trust issues.  It is all about his trust issues.  Michelle snapped some wire in his brain and what I am realizing is that he is so scared of that happening again that he has to beat everyone to the punch!  He will cheat before being cheated on.  He will have a stockpile of women to go to when things are rough in his current relationship.  This will stop the pain of his distrust.  He will sleep with another woman when he is mad at his girlfriend.  That'll really hurt her and make him feel powerful  .  It's all a "beat to the punch"  "I'll hurt you before you hurt me" 

It all makes sense!  The dating websites, mysterious phone calls and texts, hidden friends, secret life, sex websites, cleared browser history, temporarily blocking me from ichat, made up phone calls to family members, referring to me as "San Francisco" and the list goes on....

Well... he got the wrong girl here.  I am the MOST loyal girlfriend in the world with a record of NEVER CHEATING IN MY LIFE!  I don't have it in my character.  I don't even think about being with another person even after a break up until I KNOW the relationship is completely done.  

 He will always be like this unless he can take a step back and realize that he is a hurt untrusting person.  I don't think he has the ability.

And now I can get back to me.  He made me believe that I was mentally effed up.  I'm not!  He just projected all of his issues onto me long enough for me to question myself.  I'm not that person he was making me believe I was.  I am exactly who I have been and I'm going to be OK!