People protect the ones they love.

They don't go out of their way to purposely hurt them.

This was not the case with the Prince.

Everyone has issues.  Everyone has triggers.  Everyone has buttons.  It's called being alive.    A dear friend told me when someone loves you and they know your buttons they will make a concerted effort to keep them safe.  They don't take your issues and throw them in your face,  they protect you from the things that have hurt you in your past.

If you had a broken bone they would not come up to you and punch the break just to cause you pain?  Right?  Well that's exactly what the prince did to my prior emotional wounds and the new ones that he had created.

And he laughed.

My "issues" are my issues sorted from 35 years of life and most don't surface unless there is selective pressure.   Mostly, my "issues" are people dependent.  Meaning.  I will trust you until YOU give me a reason not to.   I will freely share my thoughts, feeling, insecurities with you until YOU give me a reason to shut down.  I will stand by you and protect you with the utmost loyalty until YOU give me a reason to turn my back.

These "mental problems" as the Prince called them are not some blanket issues that have a severe effect on every relationship  I encounter.  They are specific to specific people based on the history I have with them.

I don't share certain things with my family because they have a habit of being critical of my failures.  It doesn't mean I will NEVER share with them... I just wait until I am successful at what I am trying to accomplish.   I have always been the black sheep with the pressure of succeeding for me and my sister who they expect very little from.  I don't have room for fuck ups.  I keep most of my personal and professional life private from them until I feel successful enough to invite them in.  Yes this is an issue and it is specific to my family.  I am not like this with ANY other people in my life.  I am an open book.

I had a relationship once where I was cheated on and TRUST was not an issue.
I dated a Merchant Marine who traveled for three months every three months,  TRUST was not an issue
I dated a man who traveled the world during his PHD program while working long hours seven days a week and TRUST was not an issue!


I have only had two relationships where trust was a major issue.


 So who were these two relationships with that TRUST was an issue?  The two most abusive men I've ever dated,  "B" and Prince Charming.

They both had the same characteristics and behaved in very similar ways.   They both used  emotionally manipulation to gain control giving me constant ultimatums on my behavior and lifestyle.  They both had secret friendships that they would NOT include me in where they talked poorly about me to turn these people that didn't know me against me.  They both drank heavily causing the bi-polarish behavior to come roaring at me.  They both had some sort of compulsion.  "B" was a compulsive gambler.  The Prince compulsively perused internet dating websites.  They both could not see their own faults or issues allowing them to blame me for every single little problem.  They both demanded excessive attention from me.  They both enjoyed emotionally confusing me, pushing my buttons and then sitting back and enjoying watching me feel pain.  Both of them toyed with my trust to the point where I did NOT trust them purposely putting their "secrets" out in front of me to see my reaction.

They BOTH courted me for long periods of time (multiple years) wooing me with wonderful stories and great plans for the future and they BOTH turned into another person once they conquered me.  I had no interest in dating either one of them before they courted me.

They both took my emotional weaknesses and punched them over and over again until I was helplessly huddled on the floor in pain.

If he knew I had trust issues within our relationship why did he behave so secretive all the time?  Why would he continue to go on dating websites?  Why wouldn't he introduce me to his friends?  Why would he use a the code name "San Francisco" when talking about me on the phone right in front of me?  Why would he blatently tell me horrible things his family would say about me?  Why would he tell me he thinks about cheating on me when he gets mad at me?  Why would he throw this odd behavior in my face day after day after day?

He was punching me in the broken bones.